One show where I saw parts of myself reflected was Gossip Girl. At first, I watched it mainly for the drama, relationships, fashion, and the lives of the characters, but as I got older, I started noticing that I connected with some of the characters in ways that went beyond the storyline. Even though my life is obviously very different from the characters’ lives, I related to the pressure to appear confident and put together while dealing with insecurities and uncertainty underneath.

One character I connected with was Blair Waldorf. Blair is ambitious, competitive, and very focused on her future. She has high expectations for herself and constantly wants to prove that she is capable and worthy of success. I related to the idea of wanting to achieve something for yourself while also caring deeply about how other people see you. Her character showed me that someone can be confident and ambitious while still having insecurities and moments of self-doubt. That felt more realistic to me than characters who are simply portrayed as either strong or weak.

Compared with some of the other media I had watched growing up, Gossip Girl also felt different because the female characters were not limited to one personality type. They could be ambitious, emotional, selfish, caring, competitive, insecure, and independent all at once. They made mistakes without becoming defined entirely by those mistakes. This made me think differently about how women are often represented in television. I realized that I did not have to fit into one specific idea of what a “good” or “successful” girl should be.

The show also made me more aware of the narratives that are traditionally found in this type of media. A lot of shows about young women focus heavily on relationships, popularity, appearance, and social status. Gossip Girl definitely contains all of these things, but it also shows how much pressure can come from constantly comparing yourself to other people. The characters are always concerned with how they are perceived, which made me think about how social media today can create a similar feeling. We are constantly seeing carefully presented versions of other people’s lives and can start comparing them to our own.

Watching Gossip Girl expanded my perception of my own identity because it made me realize that being ambitious and caring about my future does not make me less feminine or less emotional. I can want success while also caring about friendships and relationships. I can be confident while still having insecurities. Most importantly, I realized that identity is not one-dimensional. The characters I connected with showed me that it is possible to have contradictions within yourself and still be comfortable with who you are.

Looking back, I think that is what made Gossip Girl more meaningful to me than I initially expected. What started as a show I watched for entertainment became something that helped me recognize parts of my own personality and think more critically about the expectations placed on young women.

Schwartz, J., & Savage, S. (Creators). (2007–2012). Gossip Girl [TV series]. The CW.